Friday, March 1, 2013

All Rise, y'all

Way back in the days of Myspace a band called All Rise got together. You've probably seen them. If you're a punk in Charlotte, NC. Or if you frequent dive bars and pizza places between here and Hollywood. If you know them you're familiar with their particular form of debauchery.

I was lucky enough to have them sit and tell some of their funnier stories. Specifically to share with you. Brace yourself, these dudes know how to tell a story.
 Their first show was at the Milestone with the Toasters. But they all met on eHArmony. Wait...I mean MySpace. That's how Tyler met Richie, anyway. They found Dan on Craigslist. When he started with the band he was going to practice after school. Talk about extracarricular activities.

He's got a few stories he wasn't too happy to share, but I'm glad they did. It seems on their first tour he got banned from driving, still. For falling asleep...or passing out. Head against the window, rumble strips activated. Asleep. Oddly enough, he was chosen to drive because he could see clearly. At least when he covered one eye...

Choosing, one night, to sleep on top of the van rather than in a tiny apartment with a tranny and a bunch a dudes (and some wandering cats), he was mistaken for a dead body by some tenants. Seems he fell off the van and half under it. A neighbor called tho police and they woke him by kicking his shoulder, guess they didn't want to touch the body.

There's some pretty good stuff about a tranny door guy in Texas, a bathroom in Wisconsin and a bottle of Xanax, but I hear his mom wasn't a fan of that the last time it ended up on the internet.

"I got to drive out of Manhattan on shrooms."

 Richie was in a southern rock band when he joined All Rise. His 1st impression of Tyler was seeing him in front of the practice space in camo shorts and crocs.

He swims in fountains. The best part of this story, which took place at a patio bar in New Orleans, was that he first asked one of the bartenders if he would be thrown out if he jumped in the fountain. After being told "Oh honey, definitely." He began to strip and jumped in.

After spending what I'll assume is the entire day drinking, this is New Orleans we're talking about, they went to a bar called the Dungeon. Maybe you've been there, maybe you have stories. If so, I'd be interested to hear them. Sounds like quite a place.

But I digress. At the Dungeon Dan drinks from a pint of whiskey he bought with the last bit of money he had and Richie took a nap in a room similar to a jail cell. Only to be woken up by a bartender, because that room is not for sleeping.

"It was dumpster pizza..."

Tyler hails from New Orleans. He knows pretty much everything about it. So he knew that penniless and hungry, they could get a pizza from any place that sells by the slice. With Dan missing and Richie passed out (this time in the van not the room at a bar that folks use to...*ahem...bone) Tyler went on a heroic journey to find their missing bass player and put food in tummies. Turns out these pizza places will put out uneaten pizza in cardboard boxes for the homeless. Remember that if you're ever hungry and broke in NOLA.
If you see them around you should buy them a PBR and talk to them. They're super friendly, funny, and open. Like all the punks in this town. They had stories from every stop along their tour. They almost gave up at the second stop because they didn't have the scratch. Lacking funds and merch is a hard start to a tour, but it sounds to me like they made the best of it. 
In Texas one of them got a blow J from a tranny. In Madison, Wisconsin they crashed a guys house. Filled his toilet with vom and pinched a bottle of pills in someones asscheeks. They got video of several guys peeing on a girl, her idea. In Hollywood they bought an entire case of King Cobra. They set Dan's toes on fire and spray painted DSC on his crotch. In pink.

 In vegas one of the guys on tour with them got head from an elderly lady. Cleanest head in Vegas? In New York Tyler Side swiped a semi truck. There's even something in there about a blow torch.

 You can hear them here or here. See them in person at the Milestone (with a video debut!) or opening for the Casualties at Tremont.
You can see more pictures from this interview here and more of my photos here.

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